Imposter syndrome, are you a victim?

 

You are watching your friend play and you wonder how talented he is. But there are other thoughts which also come to your mind, “I will never be able to play like him. I don’t know if I will ever make it big in my sport. Do I even belong here?”

Do you have this sinking feeling when you watch someone from the same field/sport perform?

This thought of feeling let down because of comparison with your peers is quite common. Most of us go through it at some point or the other. In clinical psychology, it’s called ‘IMPOSTER SYNDROME’

What is Imposter syndrome?

'Imposter syndrome is defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud'. ‘Fraud’ is a big word, but it somewhat resembles of how we may feel when we watch someone more successful from the same field. "Why am I not as good as him?" or "When will I become like him?" or "Will I ever make it big in this sport like this guy has?" or "Why am I doing this?", we ask ourselves such questions.

Even for kids, it is natural to copy what an older brother or sister is doing. And that was the case for tennis star Serena Williams. Williams admitted to always copying her older sister Venus. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Williams shared, “There were two Venus Williamses in our family -- it was crazy. … [At restaurants] my parents would make me order first, but once she ordered, I’d change my mind. It was tough for me to stop being Venus and become the person I am.”

It is very common to feel small, insignificant and incapable when we see someone from the same field as ours doing well.  It is great to watch better athletes and get inspired. But it is totally opposite to let ourselves down when we see their skills or accomplishments. Letting these thoughts settle in your mind could be detrimental.

Common thoughts/ symptoms which are indicative that you may be suffering from imposter syndrome are-

1. Regularly doubting your ability and hard work.
2. Undermining all that you have achieved in your sports career.
3. Regularly feeling of not belonging to the sport you play.
4. Avoiding crowds or fellow players especially at big events. Feeling small in front of other players.
5. Feeling depressed. Not enjoying your training and competitions.
6. Always being in self-doubt during competitions.

Steps to overcome Imposter syndrome-

1) Stop comparing yourself with others.

This is very easy to preach but almost impossible to follow. But with conscious effort and awareness, we can realize the difference when we are getting inspired by someone or comparing ourselves with that individual. It is a place of being settled or happy with self and our personality but still aiming for our goals by putting in the miles. If you are going to compare yourself with everyone else, you are going to land up disappointed. There will always be someone better than you in some aspect or the other.  

Never let yourself down and feeling small when looking at others. We all are unique and special. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And its best we work on them to our individual capacity.  

Consider that your sport career is a journey. Every player is on his journey, and the journey being at a different stage. You are on a very different path than all other athletes. Also consider that right now, you are at the perfect place at the perfect time.

Coaches and sport parents- do not compare the results your child is producing with those of other children. Instead, compare the hard work and that too in a very subtle and encouraging way. Have these conversations in private. Do not in any way make your child feel let down or speak something which affects his morale. Sometimes, we forget that they’re only children. Do not burden them with your expectations or try to live your dream through them. One way to avoid expecting too much from your child is to try remembering how you were, when you were of their age. They are children, and not super humans.

2) Do not measure success only by results.

Success has a different meaning to different people. But in sports, success means winning, period. The more you win, the more successful you are. That is why sports can be a very stern teacher. Whenever you feel that your achievements are not enough, try to pen down all the contributions you have made to the people around you and to the sport. Achievements are not only the trophies, titles and medals that you have won. They are also the big and small contributions which the outside world maybe totally unaware about, or may not consider as an achievement. Be a proud individual. Give yourself credit not only for these contributions, but also the hard work you have put in your journey so far. Take it forward from there. As an athlete, you may have inspired so many young kids or other athletes; can you recollect all of that? One more way of looking at it is, think of what the sport has given you. What you would have been without your sport? All these thoughts will definitely lift your spirits and inspire you to work harder and with a positive frame of mind.

3) Enjoy your sport.

I cannot stress on this point enough. The common mistake athletes make is that they make the process of getting to their goals dreadful. What we need to understand here is that the journey is more important than the final destination. There have been instances when some international athletes had worked extremely hard to achieve their goals. But when they finally reached there, they thought they were not as happy as they assumed they would be. Their life seemed empty and meaningless at that point. So enjoying the journey to your goal is as important as the goal itself. The journey to the goal will make the goal sweeter.

The training has to be tough and grueling, but you should be enjoying that too. Competition can be scary, but that too has to be something you look forward to with enthusiasm. It is like getting into a roller coaster, you know it’s going to be scary but a lot of fun as well.

If you do not enjoy your training and competitions, there is little chance that you will ever make it to your goals.

4) Keep away from negative people.

When you play, especially as a junior, there will be a lot of unsolicited advice coming your way. Some of them can be very harsh- mostly unintentional but sometimes intentional as well. There will be some people out there who want to discourage you and bring your morale down. It is best to stay away from such people. An athlete must seek advice and suggestions only from his close associates. It must be a very close knitted circle consisting of people whom you trust. Do not seek advice from everyone out there on what you should or should not do. Sometimes, when we are on a low, we seek answers or solutions everywhere. If someone does approach you with unasked advice, its best to ignore or be clear that they do not seek any advice from them. Keeping away from negative vibes is very important for an athlete.

According to a research published in the international journal of behavior science, a whopping 70% of the population have suffered from imposter syndrome. Sports being so competitive and unforgiving, athletes are even more vulnerable to suffering from this condition. The idea is to identify the symptoms early on and work on them exclusively. If the symptoms persist for a long time, it would be best to get in touch with a professional sports psychologist.

Mental well being is the foundation for giving your best performance during competition and an athlete must ensure to keep it on his top priority.

Amit Gajria                                                                                                    

WSF Certified Squash Coach

Mumbai, India.