In every field, we often come across people who have made winning into a habit. In sports, we often see such athletes. They seem to do well in any competitive scenario they face. How do these athletes manage to not only enjoy, but thrive in such difficult, challenging situations? It is the mind-set which separates them from the rest. In this blog, we will try and understand how athletes develop that attitude towards their sport and make winning into a regular affair.
A winner’s mind-set-
There is a very interesting incident which comes to my mind
when I dwell on the winner’s mind-set. Once I took my daughter to a swimming
competition as suggested by her coach. There was a 4 year old girl who had
filled the entry for the free style race but she was the only girl to enter in
that age category. As per the rules, she had to swim from the start to the finish to officially ‘win’ the race. It was the child’s
first ever race, and probably did not even realize that she was the winner even
before the race started. Her parents starting cheering her as soon as she began
her race. The crowd noticed the lone warrior and gathered around cheering the
toddler even further. The child suddenly started pushing herself faster with
every cheer she heard. By the time she completed the race, the entire arena had
erupted with cheer and encouragement for the toddler.
The child took home the medal and certificate she deserved.
But she also took the self-belief and that awesome feeling for herself back home.
In the months that followed, I saw her participating in many swimming heats
invariably returning with a podium finish in most of these events. She even won
races where she competed with kids older than her. There was no iota of doubt that she was an amazing swimmer. But it was that first race where she
swam with all the encouragement which made all the difference in her attitude
towards competition and her self belief.
Some athletes have that winner’s attitude right from the beginning. They seem to have that innate confidence and belief on themselves. They also have that deep hunger for success and this intent is very strong when they train. They enjoy challenges and have the confidence of dealing with any competition they are thrown into. They are brave and are unfazed by competition. Their body language is often a reflector of how highly they think of themselves. These are some qualities which separates them from the rest of the pack. The secret of this attitude may be rooted deep into their childhood days. These are the athletes who have a ‘winner’s mind-set’
An athlete
low on confidence (ALOC)
I will explain this mind set also with an example. In India,
cricket is played everywhere. There was a child who loved physical activity and
had interest in sports. He went down to play every evening with his friends.
Before every game, the team used to be selected by the self-appointed captains.
This child was always the last one to be selected. No team captain wanted him
in his team. And this became a trend. Because as per everyone, he could not
bat, bowl or field. There came a time later, when even kids younger to him
started getting priority over him for being in the team. As playing in the
evening was the only option the child had, and the ‘friends’ were the only
friends, he had no other option of spending his evenings. This continued for
years. By the time he grew, he had zero belief on himself not only as a cricket
player but also with regards to other areas of his life. For most of his
teenage years, he stayed away from any sport.
He wanted to take up a sport but never had the courage to. During his college days, he took up a squash as he had some spare
time. Also it was a sport which he could practice alone, so there was nobody
watching him or making a judgement on him. With practice the sport turned into
a passion. He enjoyed it so much, that he did a coaching course, got himself
certified and started teaching young kids. Have you guessed who that kid was?
Due to the treatment I got as a child by my peers, I found it
very difficult to break those mental barriers I had created around myself.
Whenever I played tournaments, I had that extreme fear running down my spine.
Before the match I used to tell myself, “I just don’t want to be here”
Also I had zero self-belief. Many a times I had no idea on how I would come out as a winner. And the feeling was consistent irrespective of the opponent I had to face. I had to work extremely hard- mentally and physically to break those barriers and it took many years for that transition to happen. It took me hours and hours of mental work on a daily basis to change the mind set I had engraved inside me. With meditation, I started believing in myself and my abilities. Unlike a few years ago, today I am very confident when I enter the squash court. I also enjoy competing today.
But most kids who go through bullying in childhood are not fortunate enough to come out of that lack of self belief. Most are unaware about the cause of it, let alone working to come out of it.
A winner’s
vs ALOC mind-set.
Athlete with a winners mind-set |
ALOC |
Believes in himself however tough the
challenge in front of him. |
Doubts himself however hard he has
worked for the task at hand. |
Takes every competition as a challenge
and a learning experience without fear |
Is scared of competition/ hates
getting into competition |
Reflects/ celebrates his successes as
much as he reflects on his failures |
Tends to reflect on the failures more
than his successes. |
Is a proud individual |
Ponders on his weaknesses and lack of
ability more often |
Has a very positive body language, is
a crowd puller, has good conduct on and off the field |
Has poor body language, crowd does not
like to see a frustrated athlete perform. |
Has more wins than losses in his
sporting career (more successful) |
Wins are rare. |
Has the fear of losing (which is
natural) |
Has fear of winning |
How to
inculcate a winner’s mind-set in kids?
Both the examples of a winners and a ALOC mind-set explain
the significance of the right upbringing in a child. The self-image the child carries could be the formula for a confident adult. For this it is very
important to encourage the child at every junction in his life. Appreciate
efforts and not just results. Encourage your child when he puts in hard work
into anything. Teach your child to develop a positive attitude towards
competition and failures. One counter
argument is that when Sachin Tendulkar trained, his coach hardly ever
appreciated him. Then how did he become the great Sachin Tendulkar? Even the
famous movie ‘Dangal’ showed how the young wrestler’s father and coach
appreciated her only when she won the gold medal at the commonwealth games. But
this strategy worked well for those particular athletes and probably their coach
realized that very early while training them. In most cases, the right
appreciation and encouragement works wonders for kids.
How to check ALOC in your child?
Childhood experiences can be a make or break for your child’s
confidence. Once that self-image is formed, it is very difficult to break out
of it. Keep a close tab on your child when he goes to play/train. Parents have
to be vigilant that he is not getting bull dozed, bullied, trolled by his
friends. If your child is taking training, make sure he is not the one always
loosing in practice matches to his peers. If that is the case, it would be best
to have a word with the coach. Another key is to have great communication with
your child. The child should have an open channel where he can let out all his
feelings and experiences he has had during the training. If your child returns
from his training happy and is excited to go for the next session- it means
things are fine. If the child is quite, and does not like to attend training-
that is the time parents have to get alert and find out the reason.
Final words….
All athletes work extremely hard. It is the mind-set which
separates the elite from the others. Working on developing the right mind-set
can go a long way in making a mentally strong and confident athlete. Efforts
should be made by parents and coaches to start grooming it right from
childhood.
Amit Gajria
WSF Certified Squash Coach
Mumbai, India.
Great article Amit sir. You are an inspiration. I'm glad my son trains with you. With the right encouragement and backing he will be a great athlete. No matter the sport, it's the attitude to win.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much madam for your encouragement.
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